Whew...what a crazy life....

Oh my goodness! I planned on doing this much more often - but life keeps happening all around me. So - here is an update on all of us! Probably going to be long, since I don't know when I will have time to write again!

Noah is doing excellent in his own room! I thought we would all hate it and be miserable, but turns out we all love it. He goes to bed at 7 every night, in his own room, on his own, and sleeps until around 3-4, then gets up, eats a bottle and goes back to bed in his room until around 6 when we all get up for the day. We have a routine that we follow every single night, including baths and stories, then feeding Noah in the rocking chair in his room, and laying him down, then going to put Bri to bed. It has been spectacular! My homework gets done, he sleeps great and we are all less grumpy with each other.

Health-wise, Noah is also doing much better. As everyone that has been around the last couple months knows, he has been in the hospital and practically lived at the doctor's office - but I think we finally may have a handle on it all. Quitting smoking (2 months smoke free on the 10th - yay!) seems to have helped a lot. Giving the cat away is a great start to! We have also started washing his clothes and sheets in the expensive Dreft stuff and vacuuming every afternoon when we get home and that also seems to help. He still has scab-like rashes on his torso and legs, but they get better every day! It's pretty obvious at this point that he has severe allergies, but we have to wait 7 more months til they can test him. So for now, we are getting a handle on it as naturally as possible.

He is starting to try walking now, and has learned how to flush the toilet (look out keys and cell phone), and turn off and on the TV. He is such a booger, and so much fun. Overall, it has been really an amazing experience having my son. The things I have learned, and the amazing blessing he has been to everyone around him has absolutely floored me. I never thought I could love another child the way I loved Bri. But what I have learned is that what Bri and I had was a friendship, and it was very unhealthy. Noah didn't need that kind of "love" and neither did Bri. Now my children have a mommy, and our lives are so spectacular because of it.

Now on to a Bri update! She is doing absolutely wonderful at the Christian school! I am SOOOO glad that we made that difficult decision to move her there over Christmas break. Having gone there myself, and getting some very negative opinions from other people, made me very skeptical of putting her there. However - it has been spectacular! She has adjusted perfectly, she is happier then I have ever seen her, she is excelling academically and socially in huge leaps and bounds. Whatever had been said about that school can be said, but it is an incredible experience for us. The drama has stopped, her attitude has improved, and I love waking up to both my beautiful kids, but especially Bri's smiling face, because she is excited to go to school, and happy to go and come home. God has been so good to us in the last few months, in ways I had never really thought possible, especially with Bri. He has really blessed her with adability and joy and a spirit that amazes me. And she is now in a place where she can shine with those qualities.

She has two more loss teeth, and she is excited to see what the tooth fairy brings. She is also reading, pretty much all the time. Books seem to be her world now, especially since we cut off almost all TV time lately. She has adjusted just fine, though there are still moments that she misses it. She knows on the weekends she can have more time and that seems to be okay with her. We have been going swimming on Saturday afternoons, as well. She LOVES swimming and is doing so great - she finally puts her head under water and isn't scared of anything (except the slides - ha!) anymore.

As for me, I am doing great! Things are going so well for me and my family and I really have never felt better about life. Not to say that things are perfect, but the important things have definitely fallen into place.

Most important - I think my biggest achievement as of late has been the ability to give up the cigerettes. I really thought I would smoke forever. So much negativity in my life, in the form of people and situations and even myself, really held me back from being as strong as I know I am capable of being. Now that I have eliminated so much of that, even though it required eliminating people that I love very much, things have improved so much. I don't feel like I am being held back anymore. So, I have now been nicotine free for 2 months. With absolutely no desire to start again. Even with Noah in the hospital, and a school change, and all the stress that has gone on, I have not even wanted to start again. It is in the past, my kids and I deserve better, and I have given it to them and myself.

I have also started my Practicum (which is like student teaching) at Frontier Middle School, with the 6th graders. This has been ..... eye opening, to say the least. And reaffirmed my decision to take my children out of public school. AND reaffirmed my decision to get my teaching degree and be a 6th-8th grade teacher. These kids need help, they need some to care, they need someone to teach.

Most of them are the worst of the worst at this school. The teachers call them the "naughties". They can't read even close to their grade level, they are bused in from the Behavior Institute and the Juvenille Detention Center. I've already been called names that I'd never evn thought of combining and challenged in every sense of the word. I come home mentally spent, physically worn, and thankful for my own experiences and children, and the ability to make their lives different. These kids need me, and others willing to step up and love them, with the tough love, the "I'm going to teach you, and mold you and I don't care if you hate me for it" kind of love. And someday - that teacher will be me. I know - I am EXACTLY where I need to be, doing EXACTLY what I am supposed to be doing.


I am a mother. I am a daughter. I am a friend, a student, and a teacher. I am a professional. I am a child of God. And most of all, I am grateful. I am grateful to be ALL of these things.

I am now confident. I am secure. I am in love with my kids, and my life. I could never be more then who I am. And for the first time, I know that IS enough.